It happens only in Singapore

Each and everyone in our generation has seen videos on YouTube titled 'This happens only in India'. My friend (who prefers to be anonymous) posted this on Facebook, titled 'It happens only in Singapore'. I am not going to say anything more, just read it, its hilarious:

DNA matching? Comfort of their own rooms? ROFL

And after all that: 'Thank you for taking time to read this document.' ROFLOL

Cheers

Hema Malani's cheeks,not really. But it comes close.

A couple of days ago, I happened to read an article in the Bangalore Mirror saying that the Bangalore roads today are in a pathetic state. The reporter went on to say that the roads are full of potholes, speed bumps, slush, gravel and all sorts of other rubbish that should be somewhere else.

At that time, I agreed with that guy to the tee. I wanted to write a letter to the editor saying that " I totally agree with your employee. The roads today are freaking pathetic. They are the reason why my back hurts, they are the reason I am late to college everyday, the roads simply suck. All those BBMP babu's eat all the money we pay up as tax. Therefore I want to sue the BBMP and I humbly ask for your help"

But is was today that I realized that the roads in Namma Bangalore (Like Bangalore more than Bengaluru) are not as crappy as I thought. What made me change my mind? Read on.

Well I had been to Utsav today, the BMSCE fest. As you might know BMS is a looooong ride from home ( about 15 km). I left BMS at around 6:45 in the evening, on my bike. And about 5 minutes later, my bike started giving some problems.

If you have seen my bike, you would probably say that that is no surprise. Well it is a 19 year old Hero Honda CD 100, and i am very happy with it. It is an ideal student bike. Just fill it, shut it and forget it. Gives reasonably good mileage. And there are hardly any problems with it. It has never gotten punctured in the 4 years that I've had it. Never needs servicing. Its is just a zero frills bike.

So what happened to the bike? Well it was something unique. The head light kept going off at random and coming back on (also at random). And it so happened that it went off in some residential area (some side lane of Basavanagudi) where the power had been cut off (Its summer in Bangalore, so power cuts are pretty common). But I for one couldn't care any less for the lack of light on the road, happily cruising on bike humming to Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb

'IIIIIIIII HAVE BECOME COMFORTABLY NUMB'. Then all of a sudden i hit a sharp road hump on the road.

I was just about to curse the road hump, when I realized " Hey! The lights are back on". EUREKA, I found the cure for the Flickering Headlight Instability. The cure was the road bumps. So, all through the 15 km journey, I was looking for pot holes, speed-bumps or, anything that could shake up the front part of my bike so the lights could come back on.

At first I thought 'How could it be to find pot holes in Bangalore'. Believe me or not, I had to ride in darkness for most of my journey. From Basavanagudi to Town Hall to Palace Road to The Golf Course to Mekhri Circle To Sanjaynagar, all i could find were only about a handful of 'Bad patches' on the road.

So what's the moral of the story. Well there a few:

1) Bangalore Mirror sucks. Their research is faulty. Don't read it. (Just read one column that appears everyday some where in the middle. Its always really really REALLY funny. And you know which column. *wink*.

2) The babu's don't eat as much as we think they do.

3) The roads might not be as smooth as 'Hema Malini's Cheeks' but they aren't as rough as an alligator's either.

Cheers

Asimov is GOD!!!

On this very day in 1992, the world bid farewell to the greatest Sci-Fi writers of all time; Issac Asimov. Now why do I call him the greatest Sci-Fi writer, because he is the BEST.

Look at what he's done; he gave us The Foundation Series, The Laws of Robotics (he actually coined the term Robotics), Psycohistory, the stories of Elijah Baley and R.Daneel Olivaw, the innumerable stories of Susan Calvin, man the list goes on and on and on.

Here's my tribute to Asimov on his 18th death anniversary.

When i was in the 12th standard, I had trouble understanding the 2nd law of thermodynamics. So i was googling and i found this by Issac Asimov. And i was amazed by how the man made something so complex so simple. It is exactly as Albert Einstein said: "You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother"

Here's the piece:

"Another way of stating the second law then is, 'The universe is constantly getting more disorderly!' Viewed that way we can see the second law all about us. We have to work hard to straighten a room, but left to itself it becomes a mess again very quickly and very easily. Even if we never enter it, it becomes dusty and musty. How difficult to maintain houses, and machinery, and our own bodies in perfect working order: how easy to let them deteriorate. In fact, all we have to do is nothing, and everything deteriorates, collapses, breaks down, wears out, all by itself - and that is what the second law is all about."

Issac Asimov; I salute you.

Oh Engineering, thou truly art a heartless bitch

Well reason number two of why engineering sucks is why I haven't been blogging as frequently as i would like.

The reason; Drum-roll please.....

INTERNALS:

These are the most pointless exercises we engineers are put through. These internals happen very often, One moment you are like "Thank god, I'm done with the internals" and the then it comes out of the blue saying "Peekaboo, i see you"

Just before every internal we go around to find some nerd who has paid some attention in class to photocopy his notes. And inevitably we end up saying "WHAT THE FUCK, so much of syllabus is covered, when THE fuck did this happen."

After the paper, the common dialogues between (future) engineers goes something like this :

What the fuck man, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus

Ya dude, this was THE worst paper set in the history of the engineering course

Fuck dude, SHIT, I am failing....I got screwed royally..

The next one is a classic:

Jo (mujhe) aata hai , woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh aata hai. Hamesha aisa hi hota hai.

So after writing about 17 sets of internals, I wonder what is the point of all this.

What is the fucking point of asking us questions we don't know the answers to, is the point of an internal to check what we have learnt; or test what we haven't.

If you ask me the big guys in the HRD ministry ought to come up with some alternative way of assessment and come up with it soon.

LIKE THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN :P